Kinda psyched about my new profile photo

This is how I look approx one second after I wake up each day.

EPISODE 2

Of MAKING FRIENDS WITH CHELSEA PERETTI is up...stay tuned for episode 3, which might be my favorite.



CP artist profile on SuperDeluxe (view episode 1 here)

Level 1 Coffee Shop Prank

Here's a great prank for any coffee shop that stocks wood coffee stirrers. It's very simple. All you do is grab one and grab a pen.

On one side you write: "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. I HAVE A SOLID PLAN/WEAPON."

On the other side you write: "(SEE REVERSE)"

Then you walk by someone sipping a latte and you toss it on their table and wink.

Previously: Level 3 Coffee Shop Prank

The Benefit that would not die

Brooklyn Paper says: "crude, rude, and hilarious"

Previously, on theapiary.org

Slight insomnia?

One cure is to force yourself to go through an entire design magazine, page-by-page, no matter how badly you want to set it down.

Singles on V-day

To all the singles on v-day: you shouldn't stress it. Really.

Us couples and you singles do the exact same shit on Valentine's Day except we just also share a nice meal, exchange gifts, and make love. Other than that, identical.

Study the pictures below. Same basic gist:





Don't allow Hallmark to make you feel "different" or "less than." We're all the same, and it's just another day.

Happy Valentine's Day

Here's a early SHAC short on the Valentine topic. In it, I could not look like more of a transsexual.

Enjoy:

Sunday 7:30pm

Feb 11. 2007
Reggie Watts 'Well Rehearsed'
An Evening of Extremely Well Engineered Improvised Unstructured Vignettes
hosted by Rob Cantrell & Chelsea Peretti
7:30 pm
COMIX
353 W. 14th Street
New York, NY
Tickets are available online at www.comixny.com or by calling 212.524.2500

Wheatabix, damn!

So good. So, so good. So into cereal yall! Feel like a teen again. Just loving cereal. Wheatabix with sliced strawberries and blueberries is a real treat.

Throw some Barbara's on there.

Sprinkle a smidge of granola.

Ars Nova tonight 10pm

Come to Ars Nova tonight for Automatic Vaudeville 10pm. Fun show.

511 W. 54th St.

Tonight: Wednesday

Invite Them Up
@ Rififi (332 E 11th St. between 1st and 2nd ave)

Happy Tuesday, dickhead

Yeah. Yay! You made it to Tues. You deserve a special commendation on making it to the second day of the week because you're struggling. Your Monday sucked and you put on a brave face for the big T-u-e-s but you could crack at the slightest provocation and you know it.

Tues night I have tue shows:

Here's The Thing
8pm @ The PIT (154 W. 29th St)

Laugh Don't Destroy
8:30pm @ Union Hall (702 Union St @ 5th Ave, Park Slope)

NEW SHAC SHORT: ANDREA'S ART

Online now.

Enjoy!

Sundee

This Sunday Feb. 4th, I'll be doing the monologues for ASSSSCAT at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater (7:30pm & 9:30pm).